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Six Steps to Move Past Your Past

August 17, 20234 min read


Life is a journey that's often marked by challenges, setbacks, and pain. Perhaps you've faced your fair share of difficult times, just like countless others. I've been there too, and I understand the weight of carrying the past, the struggles, and the mistakes. But here's the truth: you don't have to be defined by your past. You can turn your struggles into stepping stones for success. In the next 10 minutes, I'll guide you through a simple yet powerful process that can help you break free from the chains of the past and pave the way for a brighter future.

The Path to Transformation: From Struggle to Success

You're not alone in your desire for a better life. I'm Gary Fahey, The NeuroStoic, and I've dedicated over two decades to helping individuals and organizations build mental strength, resilience, and success by combining the science of the mind with actionable philosophies.

Shifting Perspective: Creating Space for Change

Every journey toward transformation begins with a shift in perspective. I've faced my own share of challenges, including major depressive disorder and a gambling addiction that nearly cost me everything. Despite the mistakes and struggles, I held onto the belief that a better version of myself was possible. The key was to create space for a clear, conscious, and compelling vision of who I could become. This vision served as a guiding star, leading me away from self-destructive patterns.

Rewriting Your Story: Letting Go of the Past

The past can be a heavy burden, filled with regrets, trauma, and mistakes. Yet, it's possible to rewrite your story. The concept of neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to change and adapt, has been widely studied and proven. The belief that it's impossible to change in adulthood is simply a misguided notion. Your story—the narrative you've attached to your experiences—is what's truly holding you back. The past does not have to define you. By shifting your story, you can free yourself from its grasp and embrace a new beginning.

Steps Toward Healing and Growth

Now, let's delve into the practical steps that can empower you to let go of the past and forge a path to success:

1. Acknowledge Your Pain: Acknowledgment is the first step toward healing. It doesn't mean dwelling on the pain, but rather accepting that it's a part of your journey. Remember, your trauma is not what happened to you; it's the internal impact of those experiences. This distinction is crucial as you begin to process and release the hold of your past.

2. Forgiveness: Yourself and Others: Holding onto resentment and anger only prolongs your suffering. Forgiveness doesn't erase what happened, but it frees you from the negative emotions tied to those memories. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and extend that forgiveness to others. This act of release is a powerful way to regain control over your emotions.

3. Find Gratitude in Your Pain: Gratitude may seem challenging when connected to painful experiences, but it's about finding silver linings. Even the most difficult moments can offer lessons and growth. Embrace the resilience you've gained, the lessons you've learned, and the strength you've developed. This shift in perspective can release the hold of the past and empower you to move forward.

4. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Sharing your pain with positive, supportive people can be transformative. Speaking about your experiences can help you process them and gain new insights. Choose your confidants wisely—those who uplift you, encourage growth, and inspire positive change.

5. Learn from Your Mistakes: Mistakes are not indicators of your worth. They're opportunities for growth. Instead of letting them define you, use them as stepping stones to becoming a better version of yourself. Embrace the lessons learned and turn them into catalysts for positive change.

6. Take Care of Yourself: Prioritize self-care. Engage in physical activity, nurture your nutrition, and ensure quality sleep. These factors contribute to your mental well-being and signal your commitment to growth and positivity.


Your past doesn't have to be an anchor weighing you down. It can be the fuel that propels you toward a brighter future. Acknowledging, accepting, and healing from past pain and mistakes is a courageous step toward rewriting your narrative. Through the power of neuroplasticity, you can reshape your brain and, consequently, your life. As you consciously engage in this transformative journey, you'll find the weight of the past lifting, making way for a future filled with purpose, resilience, and success.

If you're ready to take the next step, remember that change is a journey best taken with support. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals who can provide guidance and encouragement. My mission is to empower you to move from where you are to where you want to be. It's a partnership that requires your commitment to chasing success, being relentless, and never giving up. Your future is yours to shape, and the first step begins with the decision to embrace transformation.

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